food, opinionLeave a comment

Why is Salmon Pink?

Harry Burgundy

Many long years have been spent contemplating an answer to the question “Why is salmon pink?” Some people think it has to do with intelligence or genetic makeup. Others think it has to do with sense of fashion. Personally, I think it’s a little of both. I mean what kind of self-respecting salmon would be a color other than pink when clearly it’s the most satisfying and fair of colors? Pinkness is a weapon. One bite of salmon, and you can already just tell it’s raw. A shark will take a bite of salmon, see the pinkness and say “Oh … Continue reading Why is Salmon Pink?

PoliticsLeave a comment

Corona Is For The Constitution

Head Nacho

As the head writer for the C.R.A.P. (Constitution Republicans Association Press) the task of writing our parties official statement about the Corona Virus has been dawned upon me. Our statement is coming out in a fashionably late manner for three reasons. One we spent much time and effort to make sure our final stance on the Corona was best for the party. Second we had to go back and review the Constitution in person to ensure the best decision as we normally do, but we could only go one at a time because of ‘social distancing’. Third is that half … Continue reading Corona Is For The Constitution

opinionLeave a comment

If You Sleep During Quarantine You’re Wasting Time

Head Nacho

Well it’s simple if you sleep your equivalent to soft serve ice cream. Usually people talk about ‘oh, if you don’t become a chef by the end of this then did you even quarantine?’. I think that is letting people off to easy. If you don’t spend every second of everyday trying to improve a skill or a talent then your a waste of space. This is a time for our race as humans need to advance and work on specific skills like karate, kickball, and art. Now you might of notice my quality of writing is going down and … Continue reading If You Sleep During Quarantine You’re Wasting Time

opinionLeave a comment

How I Was Able To Get A Minor

Head Nacho

It all started my Jr. year in college when the thoughts of a minor popped into my head. This was a very tempting thought as I lied in my bed starring at the ceiling holding my head up with one of my hands. At the time I thought I was too busy with all my other school work and stuff for my major that there would be no time to get a decent minor. This was a thought that lasted with me throughout my Jr. year, but I kept on putting it off then it eventually went away. During the … Continue reading How I Was Able To Get A Minor

food, UncategorizedLeave a comment

The 11th Plague of Constipation

Head Nacho

This one is for all my fellow tribesmen and women out their who are about to embark on a journey. This journey is not one that last 40 years in the deserted desert, but rather a fiber deprived week. As I am sure you have been able to tell so far I am referring to Passover. The time of the year when we get together (this year over zoom), we sit at the table for the feast that is the Seder , and we find the afikomen for a crisp one dollar bill. One of the traditions within the Seder … Continue reading The 11th Plague of Constipation